You know I think the most important thing I learned from12step programs was that it was possible to see the world and my place in it through a completely new lens. Before that I never really learned anything because I was always striving to fulfill some insane role I made up for myself due to my unconscious and conscious exposure to the mass media. Any role based on competition is perfect. They create the race then sell you the equipment or the consolation. The media is way way more distorting and powerful than seems to be acknowledged(By Whom?). It’s like the “they” is manufactured by the marketplace and sold back to us. It’s not a real thing. There is no God like that. There is no they like that. The miracle of the marketplace was just the power of capital the find avenues to turn money into more control to make more capital and spread the overall amount of control capital can attain.
I lived in seven different places since I came to journalspace
Here’s the front yard of my current dwelling
It was My Fault Journalspace went down :( part one:The early years
Author: Maurice A. FitzGeraldYup.
see I started a journal at journalspace like 3 or so years ago and since that time I made more then 4500 posts.
That blog was the start of my life.
Here are some characteristic posts of mine from July 2005
No hospital!
posted 07/29/05 Psych stuff
I drank last night.
Not much.
I beat the odds
no hospital, no homelessness, no scenes
perhaps it would be better in the hospital
Did I mention
I am an alcoholic?
Just A Book A pencil and paper.
posted 07/31/05 Personal poetry
I imagine prison as forced exposure to other men.
I assume I would ask for solitary confinement
Just A Book A pencil and paper.
How many more years could I stand It.
One would need to be sure the
books were good.
Am I going to drink today.
posted 07/29/05 Psych stuff
Am I going to drink today.
I would like to feel some feelings
I would like to be happy
I don’t resent anything
I don’t think anyone is out to get me
I’m not bitter.
I don’t want to run
where are you going man?
what the fuck!
To me Journal space was the only place I could say whatever I wanted. I hadn’t started the journal to meet anyone so I really said whatever I wanted. I have always been an incredibly retiring person but I also feel the need to communicate. I don’t know how I could gotten sober without journalspace.
Well WE ARE finally back. I suppose.
More later
Maurice A. FitzGerald